Just as the glaciers, ice cold. He, was no different. I waited for the ice to melt, and when it did my cup overflowed with the water of his bullshit. He, him the reason for the distaste in my mouth and look of distain that sets in the creases of my face. I, nothing but honest. Too bad that didn’t matter to him as I thought it had. He, just as fake as others that circled around him. His reason for anger, disappointment and nuisance of my presence based off an emotionally unstable little girl. One he kept close to his side. One of his own sources had indeed unknowingly to him, been my own. At least, we can now can say we have that in common. I’m not sure how I totally misread him. Mistakenly thinking he was so much like I. Mirroring my own favored characteristics by those who know me best. Ones such as; my honesty, loyalty, and my no bullshit demeanor. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known “It takes one, to know one”, and he is in no resemblance of one also sharing in those qualities.
I wonder if she realizes that she’s his puppet. Listening to his commands like a soldier, their commander. In fear of disappointing him. All to appease and nurture a relationship that’ll never last. One, his only interest of that relationship only as significant as the benefits he’d reap from it. I though, I wasn’t scared. I, the first not to stand in line straight as he asks the others. I, standing out. Me, of no interest to him because my sentences didn’t start or end with “Yes Sir” “No Sir” and “You’re right Sir”.
That day in December I wonder if he took me a fool when he suggested I trust the one ‘closest’ to him. Closest in quotes, because he private, untrusting of anyone, conveniently and strategically ” close ” to people. I wonder if he knew that I’d never take him at his word. For, I knew better. I knew he never spoke his truths as straight forward as I do. I wonder if he knows that anything I’d unveiled to her, I’d known would make its way back to him. For how does one who doesn’t trust then point me in direction of the trust worthy?
So, I suppose now you’re wondering what I’m thinking? What move’s next? Well, the answer to that is, I’m done. So, I suppose he’ll never know the truth because he never asked me for it. So, this, I’ll keep to myself. I’ll stay away, I’ll create my distance. Though, none of this before I end this piece with these last two words.
CHECK & MATE!
For the last time, Goodbye John.