To my dear Andrea,
Faint describes my first memory of you, of us. Subsequent to that natural, loving and honest made up the foundation of our friendship of now 9 years this September.
Her smile as broken as my heart when I see it. Burdened am I with the pain and sadness your subdued mannerisms display. From a distance nothing out of place, not even a strand of hair. Everything about her as composed and poised as her. Her, in no resemblance of me now. Her comprised of admirable bits, I now mimic habitually. I, now looking at her, unsatisfied with me. She, beautiful, smart and delicate. Ah, yes, delicate as her tears that quenched my dry hair. Every drop felt on my barely concealed shoulders. Ones you embraced that night as we cried with the low humming of Alissa Cara’s, “Scars to you beautiful” on your radio.
In that moment I flashbacked to the 23rd of August when we’d released our Chinese lanterns in the sky. This in hopes of new beginnings. Writing across them words meaningful to us in our new years endeavors. Before releasing them into the gust of wind that blew in opposite direction of the waves that calmly drifted. That day, all day in preparation of that night. It was then we’d last cried about all those who’d hurt us this past summer. Me, John and you, yours.
Pivotal was what I’d mark that day in the calendar as. From then on us both acting as each others supporters, as though we’d both known we couldn’t bear the obstacles of our own journeys alone. I, unable to carry the stress of the burdened weight on my shoulders, the same you couldn’t yours. So, that day we made a pact and promise that this day, would become plural on our calendars. Making it so, when and if yours and John ever came back that we’d again find ourselves shore-side. Atlas, that night ended with dim light in the neighboring distance with the ignition of a lit candle breezing over the ocean. With what read bright through the light “Let go & let love”. So we did.
Now, fast forward to today. You and I, no longer recognizable to ourselves this summer. Though not yet, fully matured. We’ve both noticeably grown.