Easy Come, Easy Go

I hadn’t remembered his words: ” Not interested in a relationship.”

To be fair, I hadn’t known those same words also spelled “Easy come, easy go”. That’s what I was after all, wasn’t I. Easy.

– Rebecca Harper ‘ Dear John who’s name wasn’t John’

Those same words that formulated that sentence are additionally ones applicable in any man-man, woman-man, woman- woman relationship, nine out of ten of the times.  He, John wasn’t any different then those very same who collectively were representative of that very statistic. A statistic that is more of what we assume to be an old wives’ tale, about the judgment casted on those who are “easy”. John, not born infallible to human error as none of us are. He too, also cliched by cliches.

I never did really get an answer as to why he and I stopped speaking. I mean to say I have no clue, would be ludicrous or dishonest. So, then I’ll put it in these words. I am very much conscious of the handful of contributing factors to the hindering of any and all feasible open ended relationship prospects my mind had innocently wandered about late at night in the early am hours.

Little to his knowledge, any perceivably irrational actions or text on my end was in no reflection of me. But rather because most if not all were what was advised from those I had shared in my dilemmas with; being I hadn’t had my own experience to reference to or draw from. Of course he doesn’t know this. One of my regrettable decisions for I’d be able to stomach that it was solely in cause of my own actions that he’d not liked me but it is indeed ironically in cause of the bits, parts and pieces of others, he’d disliked me and politely asked if he may distance from me. Now I find myself in the very predicament I once feared previous to seeking counsel.  So, then was it me he wasn’t interested in, or this person he’d blindly allowed to facilitate his heart and brains filter of projected assumptions of who he’d mistakenly thought I was?

I thought he’d known I was different. That I, unlike his past and other summer casual causalities, also too, not born infallible. Me, for my first time this summer, acting out of character. Ironically and perceivable only now labeled and judged as one with no moral compass. Ironic, he too was no different, engaging in the same very spontaneous irrational desire that we’d be both conjunctly had seeked fulfillment in that one July afternoon. One more than anything I’d wish away in trade of friendship.

Regardless, it all goes back to one thing I’d always heard about but never in my wildest of dreams think I’d have to personally recall. ” Easy come, easy go”. So, he came, and me, I went.

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